Hey guys. Did you hear there's a new Avengers: Age of Ultron trailer out? "If I have internet access, obviously yes" you say? Good. But did you break it down FRAME BY FRAME? I did. Here you go.
Here's a city.
It appears to be on a bit of fire.
Someone was so upset, he put three rocks on that guy's Audi.
France is having ANOTHER revolution.
In 2015, the part of James Spader will be played by a T-1000.
"Do not touch the lava man's hands, Timmy. You will get burned."
Captain America was not able to get cash for his clunkers. He is now sad.
JJ Abrams looks down on Hawkeye from afar.
Thor's cape is getting in the way of a gratuitous man-butt shot.
Bruce has lost is shoes. Thor is helping him look for them. Perhaps they are on this shelf? Captain America and Black Widow are not helpful.
"You wouldn't like me when my toesies are cold."
Tony Stark's experiments with marionette technology did not go as planned.
The unidentified woman in a red dress and leather jacket will do her best to avoid reacting to the obviously scary shit happening behind her so Marvel can continue to pretend her presence is a surprise.
Jesus, Tony, haven't you had enough screen time? Give Hawkeye a turn to be in focus for once.
This is the only shot of the trailer where Ultron's voice sounds vaguely stilted and robotic. This picture will surely help convey that.
Marvel hides another prominent female character behind Thor's shoulder. Also there's a lot of glass here that looks ripe for the breaking.
"How many times have I told you, Tony?!"
Iron Man goes to Tibet to find himself after a terrible accident causes him to lose the use of his ha-wait, no that's a different white dude with a stylish beard.
This prison (hospital? military base?) has a pretty killer water slide out front.
Fuck this door in particular.
Cap discovers what's behind Door #1. Perhaps he will wish he had not.
GO GO GO!!!
MOVE MOVE MOVE!!
BANG BANG BANG!!
In real life, Walktall is "the UK's number 1 retailer of shoes in large sizes." In the Marvel universe, Walk Tall gets shot at.
Free glass bits for everyone! :D
This poor lady's house is getting blown down. But dang, she sure is good at knitting.
Meanwhile, in that oddly slow-mo scene from Sherlock Holmes 2, a tank has appeared.
Bruce Banner goes camping.
Black Widow's decorator went for the "Batcave from The Dark Knight" look. At least they added a window.
One of Ultron's most primitive forms: a single wheel.
Surgeon Simulator got a major graphics upgrade.
If you wanted to know what Ultron's ass looks like, here you go. It's a pretty nice ass. Quicksilver seems to enjoy the view.
The arrows make the jacket go faster.
These are probably good guys. You can tell by the eyes. They're soft, tender, thoughtful eyes. Also, blue.
LOTS of good guys.
"Shit. There's so many good guys in this film, we might be out of a job!"
Mjolnir bounces. You may now discuss amongst yourselves about whether or not this is canon.
Once again, America gets to wait its damn turn.
Did...did they rip Ultron's brains out of his skull?!
Ugh. Tony's wearing plaid again. This is what happens every time he's away from Pepper for even like five minutes.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE WITH THE EYE PATCH, NICK. You sure made a big deal of it when you burned all your shit. Drama queen.
"Nothing lasts forever. Especially hair straightening."
Scarlet Witch was the victim of a hit and run. Witnesses say the suspect resembled a large pile of rocks.
SHIT, YOU GUYS.
HOW MANY ARC REACTORS DOES THAT THING HAVE?!
"I'm a dude inside a dude inside of another dude." Wait that doesn't sound right...
Fuck you, Batman, my motorcycle is an airplane.
Quicksilver just had to get one more look at that sweet robot ass.
Cap thinks Quicksilver has a pretty nice ass of his own.
Scarlet Witch practices her magelight spell.
There is literally not a single whole frame of Steve in the past that isn't part of a crossfade back to or coming from the future. Poor guy can't even catch a break in a flashback.
These boats, on the other hand, get plenty of frames. I think Marvel just likes seeing Cap in pain.
OMG you guys it's Andy Serkis. And, for once, HIS FACE IS VISIBLE.
Cap is hanging out in I'm going to guess Hong Kong because all Marvel movies have to visit China a bit now. Could also be Black Widow.
Oh, hello there lusts of the flesh.
Hulk and Black Widow iron out their only-kinda-developed differences from the last Avengers film.
Whedon continues his tradition of using beautiful art forms with rich history to make things super creepy.
Hydra agents shoot glowing blue jello into the trees.
Katniss Everdeen cut her hair.
Thor and Tony Stark share a romantic moment. Thor knows he should be loyal to Jane, but these new feelings leave him so confused.
Black Widow gets a tour of the factory where they make Taco Bell beef.
Cap dodges a lot of cars. No idea who's throwing them. Probably Hawkeye. That scamp.
Scarlet Witch's role in this movie seems to be 90% screaming at things.
A crowd of onlookers presumably checking out Ultron's ass. Quicksilver got here just in time.
The Hulk pays homage to Roger Ebert.
This is like that scene where Harry and Voldemort shoot magic lasers at each other. But with punching.
This is what happens when an unbreakable force meets an immovable plot device.
Pinocchio has considerably less nose in this remake. I'm not sure fans will appreciate this deviation from canon.